POSITIVE SIDES OF INFIDELITY/EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIRS

First of all, I need us to understand what this topic is about. Infidelity is not peculiar to one gender. So, any response to this topic should not be one-sided. I have a feeling that, upon sighting this topic, readers, especially women, will immediately conclude that it's about men. Women, too are known to have cheated, are cheating or are about cheating on their husbands. I agree, though that in terms of ratio, men are more in this ''game'' than women.



Now, is there really a positive side to infidelity? Oh, yes. In fact, I can take it further to say that divorce, too has positive sides to it, depending on circumstances leading to divorce. Didn't a pastor once say that God does not hate the divorcee, but divorce itself? Of course, how can God hate the divorcee whose marriage is, for want of a better description, hell on earth? Isn't it better to get the hell out of that marriage before something fatal happens? Anyway, this topic is not about divorce. It's about extra marital affairs and how it can jolly well be the saving grace of your marriage.



Infidelity, to start with, is an indication that there is marital problem. Am not talking about those who have been condemned to cheating, marital problem or no marital problem. Those ones have been sentenced to permanent infidelity. Am talking about the ones whose reason for cheating is their own spouses. For instance, if your emotional needs are not met, won't you seek for it somewhere? If someone out there is offering you love and happiness, something that no longer exists in your matrimonial home, won't you gladly take it?



I know everybody frowns at infidelity, to the extent that they overlook the positive side to it. I mean, if you find happiness and love through infidelity, is that not a positive side to infidelity? How about the wife who has not been giving her husband peace of mind at home. But upon finding out that her husband has been getting that peace of mind from another lady, she turned a new leaf. And the husband eventually quit his relationship with the other woman. Has infidelity not saved that marriage? Consider also the man who was cheating on his wife and didn't care a hoot if his wife knew. Guess how the man stopped his reckless philandering? The wife too started cheating on him. He found out and raised hell. Family meeting was called where he was tongue lashed and blamed for what happened. Didn't he start it all? He stopped seeing his many mistresses and normalcy returned to their once turbulent marriage. That is another plus for infidelity. The wife had to do a ''tit for tat'', that is cheat on her cheating husband before sanity could prevail in their marriage.



This reminds me of a man who has been eyeing his secretary, thinking she would be a better lay than his wife. When he eventually had his way with her, he found out, to his chagrin, that she couldn't even hold a candle to his wife in that area. Now, if not for infidelity, that man wouldn't know he has a gold medalist at home, if you know what I mean.



So, from the foregoing, would you agree with me that there are indeed some positive sides to extra marital affairs?





Ayo Ajetunmobi, www.datingandmaritalissues.com